[Forwarded by Jane]
Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe you know more than you actually do.
Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and a woman gains her master's.
Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you aregoing to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake insuch a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present...
Opportunists: One who starts having a bath when he/she accidently falls in a river...
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
College: A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.
Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet"
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
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